Saturday, July 11

*Title*

Confusion, Anxiety, Happiness, Failure, Fear, Disappointment, Honesty, Timid, Love,

Imagine a big bowl full of vegetable soup. Yummy! Carrots, green beans, cabbage, tomato, peas, those alphabet noodles... Then take a spoon and swirl it around and around in the bowl. The soup spins and spins. The vegetables in the soup are moving around and around, yet in an ordered fashion. Certain vegetables surface, but as soon as they do they disappear under the surface. The spinning is fast at first and you have to swirl your spoon just right so that the soup doesn't spill over the edges, but as you stop swirling the spinning slows and slows... until it stops completely. No movement. No personality. All the vegetables under the surface hiding. Waiting.

This is what my head feels like. All these emotions and feelings spinning around and around. I think about how I am feeling... what's going on in my head, but as soon as I try to straighten my thoughts out... or to think seriously about something, I divert myself. I don't allow myself to figure myself out. I want to fix me! I am afraid I have lost myself forever. Well, I guess I needed to know myself before I could lose myself...

No comments: